1. The French never agrees, is generally on strike, and remains a lazy person : The foreigner must have experienced some problems with our national railway company. But it’s not true, we’re not always on strike, we might be on holidays also.
2. A real French always carries a baguette with him. And ham in his pocket, of course.
3. France is THE country of civil rights, but makes eco-freak boats explode if needed, and expels a lot because Roms are messing with us : We’re kind but don’t mess with us, that’s it. Word of Hortefeux (our immigration minister)
4. More béret than Von Dutch cap : everybody knows that, we didn’t create anything in fashion since 1940. It almost smells like ration coupons.
5. The usual uniform is a stripped sweater like Mime Marceau. Just in case we fell like miming, on the go.
6. Our First Ladies have always been models. Speaking of Bernadette, we just forgot who the designer was.
7. The Camembert is our most basic food : and it can also replace toothpaste. Anyways, French are already dirty, so…
8. French TV is made of thrilling TV shows super well-sold abroad : “Louis La Brocante”, “Plus Belle La Vie”, and unfornately true for “Sous Le Soleil”.
9. French women don’t shave their armpits. But we thought the German women were the ones who didn’t shave. So, the hairs are always longer elsewhere.
10. French kiss is the traditional way to greet someone. It’s almost embarrassing at the office, especially after a wild night, but you get used to it.
(note: this is obviously highly ironic)